Tweets and Tumblr Gems To Make The Day More Tolerable

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  • 01
    Human anatomy - When the Swedish exchange student speaks his language and the furniture starts assembling itself u/scythE-shanty
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  • 02
    Rectangle - jaclcfrost here's a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. you, smacking me with a broom. both of us are yelling Source: jaclcfrost 310,380 notes A
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  • 03
    Product - youhaveaguineapigwhere 3 risingphoenix761 Follow oknope when i was younger, i used to draw the sun in the corner of the paper every time. oraclesowl I remember in my high school junior year psych class, my teacher explained to us if you drew the sun like that, then you had an absent father figure. Crazy. louithescribe I came out for a good time and honestly I feel so attacked right now pretty-odd-potato OOF misandry-and-reverseracism Shut the up I hate this alternativeblkgal is this tr
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  • 04
    Font - prokopetz October 27th 2019, 7:16:38 pm - a day ago If I was going to put the Horrible Goose in a D&D game, I wouldn't make it some big high-CR threat – it'd just be a regular goose that's capable of regular goose stuff, with three significant exceptions: 1. It can show up anywhere, even if there's no reasonable way for it to have gotten there. 2. It seems to have limited ontological intertia. If the players imprison it, it vanishes from its prison when they're not looking. If they kill i
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  • 05
    Organism - rShoop'd/Melodys @shoopdyt Me as a dm: creates a whole history of a kingdom and surrounding nations, complete with legendary heroes of the past and social issues that can't just be killed like dragons can Also me as a dm: what if i made a fantasy 7/11 that replaced general stores...
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  • 06
    Organism - unhuman aaron @humanaaron LADY: are you cutting eyeholes into that pumpkin? GUY WHO IS ABOUT TO INVENT JACK-O’-LANTERNS: *zips up pants* um.. yeah... eyeholes... that's what those are 3:00 PM · 14 Oct 19 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 07
    Font - carter @carterhambley [bank drive-thru window] Me: [in italian] I'd a like-a to make-a da deposit Bank Teller: HEY BUDDY I REMEMBER YOU Me: [frantically pouring marinara sauce into the vaccum tube] Bank Teller: GODDAMNIT IT'S HIM AGAIN 5:05 PM 3/12/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 08
    Font - Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin me: i let my cat drink the bathtub water while i was in it priest: once again kind of weird but not a sin 3/5/17, 7:22 AM
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  • 09
    Font - BAD JOKES badjokesbyjeff BY JEFF Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour and got a tattoo. But It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there. #funny #humor #jokes #lol #comedy 4,783 notes
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  • 10
    Gesture - what shredded cheese sees at 3 am
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  • 11
    Product - isOUP Performance Feminism Fashion 世 undervirus-au "where are you right now?!" "I'M AT SOUPI "which store are you in?!" "TM AT THE SOUP STORE!" "WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE??!!" "F K YOU!!!" Source: undervirus-au #ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC VIDEOS #OF ALL TIME
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  • 12
    Font - a bird @i_eat_fruit interviewer: whats ur greatest weakness? me: im vague interviewer: can u elaborate? me: yeah Source: vonosSsa 226,215 notes
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  • 13
    Human - When you're ranting about why Generations 3, 4, and 5 were the Golden Age of Pokémon but your therapist asks when you'll start talking about your clinical depression Tokamen Pokiparbing We get there when we get there!
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  • 14
    Hair - When you die, which body part dies last? The Pupils, they dilate. initial contuston), (further confusion)
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  • 15
    Glasses - first of all biiiitch, u don't even wanna know what ya man said in confessions last week, so take a seat.
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  • 16
    Wood - Teacher: You can't take a photo of anxiety Мe:
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  • 17
    Human body - [tree falls in forest] [doesnt make a sound] GUY IN CAMOUFLAGE: What the- TREE: oh s itl mean AHHI FELL
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  • 18
    Jeans - me waiting outside for the cops to show up after hitting a kid at Chuckie Cheese
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  • 19
    Font - Me dating at 21: So what do you like to do for fun? Me dating at 27: How aware are you of your past traumas and how actively are you working to heal them so that you don't project that s ton me?
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  • 20
    Photograph
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  • 21
    Product - that-house Follow Frat boy vampire draining someone while his bros chant "CHUG CHUG CHUG" in the background humanitittysswaggiest Follow Mutuals this could be us addyincolor Follow Opening up a boy with the cold ones softangryf kingdepressed Follow OPENING UP A BOY WITH THE COLD ONES
  • 22
    Font - iain-pm Follow My Argentinean housemate just got a book on proper American accents and I've never felt more attacked neauced Sounds 1-2: Reduced Sounds continued Looks Like... Track 180 Sounds Like... He's an American. heez'na merəkan I got an A in English. äi gädda nay ih ninglish hee gäddə neffinæl jabra He got an F in Algebra. He had an accident. he hæda næksəd'nt We want an orange. we want'n nornj he didnt hæva neks kyooss He didn't have an excuse. I'll be there in an instant. äiI be
  • 23
    Product - To the person at work who always steals my donuts... your day of reckoning has come. Meme meme memes BD Mustard Colmans
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  • 24
    Head - Roses: I need perfect soil to grow! Orchids: The humidity has to be perfect for me to grow! Dandelions: CONCRETE IS DIRT! imgflip.com
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  • 25
    Organism - Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau Imagine you were a vampire nowhere near the Middle East and don't know who Jesus is but the day after he dies you gotta figure out why lower case t's started hurting. 10:47 PM · 01 Jul 21 · Twitter for iPhone
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